Make flying fun with a TSA striptease
Don't be intimidated by the naked airport security scanners and protest like me – by giving them everything they want
Under new US rules, air passengers must submit to the 'naked' scanner or undergo an intimate 'pat down' by a TSA agent. Photograph: David Mcnew/Getty Images
I once had a conversation with an activist who had been arrested many times over the years. He told me his secret to staving off despair and stress during the whole process. "When you're in jail, and the police strip-search you, their goal is to humiliate you into obedience, so it's your job to turn the tables on them. I do a sexy striptease, spin around like a ballerina, and tell them how hot the whole thing makes me. It takes away their power and makes them the uncomfortable ones."
I had a chance to put that lesson to good use last week when I went through my first airport security screening since the US's Transportation Security Administration (TSA) started getting very intimate with passengers.
Under the new regulations, passengers have the prospect of submitting to a security scan that allows TSA staff members to see them naked. Alternatively, you can "opt out" of these new naked scanners if you submit to a groping, which many people consider a form of sexual assault – or, at the very least, creepy and uncomfortable. The TSA's goal is to use the "pat down" to coerce the public into submitting to a scan, which scientists at the University of California, San Francisco, consider could be a cancer risk.
Here's where I differ from your average flyer: I'm a sex worker. My main porn site gets about 3 million unique visitors a year, and clients pay $4 a minute to see me naked on my webcam. Normally, I would charge for a service such as the one TSA was requesting of me, but this one was on the house.
For my voyage, I donned a sexy, see-through chemise and sheer panties under normal clothes. My parts are all plainly visible through this ensemble. The TSA needed to make sure that I wasn't concealing any errant al-Qaida operatives under my labia, after all.
I got in line for security, put my bag in a bin, removed my shoes, and then proceeded to remove my pants and jacket, too, revealing the sheer underthings. Two large male TSA agents quickly moved in and demanded that I put my pants and jacket back on, to which I pointed out that I was only trying to help. They needed to see that I wasn't hiding anything! After begrudgingly putting my clothing back on, I was detained while the TSA waited for a police officer to talk to me. The officer didn't seem to know what the TSA expected him to do, since I had broken no laws. I got a polite and vague warning to not do this where children can see – which I already planned for by choosing a security line without any kids. The whole process took about 10 minutes, and then I was free to catch my flight.
I used a cheap digital camera (in case it got seized) to record my experience. Here's the video; only the first three minutes are worth watching.
The sad thing is, the American outcry over this issue is only because it's about genitals and nudity. No one cares if their phone calls are being recorded or if the government detains people for years without trials, they just know they don't want another dude touching their "junk". I'm hoping that people will use this particularly titillating aspect of increasing government intrusion into our lives as a springboard to thinking about other, more important, civil liberties issues. Overall, though, it's a positive sign that so many people – across party lines – are insisting upon their right to privacy and telling the government, "enough is enough".
Don't be scared like the TSA wants you to be. Be fierce! Protesting in such a way won't change TSA regulations overnight, but it adds to the dissent and public conversation, flips around a demeaning dynamic and, for bold travellers, getting this transparent just might be the only way these days to enter an airport with a smile on your face and your dignity intact.
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