INQUISITION NEWS: Brief Note to Archbishop Tim Dolan

A Brief Note to New York Archbishop Tim Dolan

Tim,

Given your weight problem, which you told the world about in a recent blog post, your BIG responsibilities as PRESIDENT of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, and your facing serious charges that you covered up a number of child rapes in Milwaukee, I was wondering what is the Number One fear that keeps you up at night. Please choose only one.

You’ll have to give up or cut way back on beer this Lent

The bishops who voted for Jerry and not you will conspire to make life hell at the USCCB

The folks in Milwaukee will come up with some REALLY incriminating documents

You’ll die before the pope makes you a cardinal

You’ll have do some jail time for your dirty deeds in Milwaukee

Jesus will judge you based on the number of kids who got raped after you allowed perpetrator priests back into ministry knowing full well that they most likely would rape again

But perhaps you don’t have any trouble sleeping. The beer and the knowledge that the Roman Catholic Church is the One, Holy, True Church, could, just could, allow you to sleep like a baby.