G8 Moved So World Leaders Can Avoid Angry Masses

by Sam Rolley

Sensing the anger of the masses, world leaders fearing mass protests in Chicago during this spring’s G8 Summit have opted to avoid the proles altogether by moving the meeting to the Presidential compound at Camp David in Maryland.
Leaders from the United States, Russia, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the U.K. and European Union had planned to meet in Chicago this May for the annual economic meeting. Protesters and demonstration groups, including Occupy Wall Street offshoots, were also orchestrating events to coincide with the meeting in the Windy City. But with barely two months until the event is slated to occur, the G-8 Summit is being moved to Camp David.
The White House issued the following statement on Monday:

In May, the United States looks forward to hosting the G-8 and NATO Summits. To facilitate a free-flowing discussion with our close G-8 partners, the President is inviting his fellow G-8 leaders to Camp David on May 18-19 for the G-8 Summit, which will address a broad range of economic, political and security issues. The President will then welcome NATO allies and partners to his hometown of Chicago for the NATO Summit on May 20-21, which will be the premier opportunity this year for the President to continue his efforts to strengthen NATO in order to ensure that the Atlantic Alliance remains the most successful alliance in history, while charting the way forward in Afghanistan.

Conveniently for world leaders who do not want to have to listen to the complaints of their people, the U.S. Congress recently passed HR 347, which is awaiting approval. The 1^st Amendment-quashing bill will make a criminal any protesters who attempt to get near Camp David.