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Charlie Sheen's Rant: Talks Addiction To Winning, Sex Goddesses, Poetry In His Fingertips

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Charlie Sheen's Rant: Talks Addiction To Winning, Sex Goddesses, Poetry In His Fingertips

People Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen has a few things to say. A few special, gnarlington things to say.

The hard-partying actor phoned into Alex Jones's radio show on Thursday and unleashed a fury of rhetorical bullets from another dimension on the media, his co-workers, critics, Alcoholics Anonymous and pretty much anyone that doesn't spend time doing cocaine and/or having sex with him.

First of all, know that he's pure awesome, all the time. And he's glad friend Lenny "Nails" Dykstra told the world.

"I think it was Nails that said, and I was really flattered that he got it right, he might be Nails, but I'm bayonets. I'm battle tested bayonets... I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't just perfect and just winning every second, and I'm not just perfect and bi**hing and just delivering the goods at every frickin' turn. Look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee ... they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.' Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show."

He opens up about the women he's been living with -- his so called "porn family."

"Let me say this about the Goddesses, I don't think the term is good enough, but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available. So if you think about it dude, I'm 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I'll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers."

Then, talk about his ex-wife Brooke Mueller and the vacation he was taking with her and two other women:

"And I just gotta add this, there was a whole firestorm about Brooke being a part of our crew... Where there were four, there are now three. Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you're going to need it. Badly ... She's not there now and we are and I don't know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn't make the rules. Oops."

On his recovery -- which he is entirely responsible for himself:

"I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself... It's the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math ... another one of their mottoes is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I'm done ... you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. I'm gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view, Alex!"

On not being pushed around anymore:

"I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time -- and this includes naps -- I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."

And his lovely take on the hard working media, who Alex Jones says alleged that both he and Sheen worked for the Vatican as assassins:

"Guys, it's right there in the thing, duh! We work for the Pope, we murder people. We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes."

Don't worry, there's much more. Including his "Giving Tree" and Beachhead death card mashup tattoo, his new "Major League" movie, trashing of the executive producer of "Two and a Half Men," his secret and silent soldiers, loving and hating with violence and much, much more. Click over to TMZ to listen.


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Idols: Pope blesses new statue of Saint Maron placed in Vatican

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Pope blesses new statue of Saint Maron placed in Vatican

Benedict XVI blessed this new sculpture of marble, located outside St. Peter’s Basilica. Saint Maron is the most famous Lebanese saint and he’s called the father of the Maronites.

In his left hand he holds a small Maronite style church and at his feet is an inscription in Arabic along with a psalm.

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Charlie Sheen Rants About Chuck Lorre, “Trolls,” AA and the Vatican

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Charlie Sheen Rants About Chuck Lorre, “Trolls,” AA and the Vatican

(GettyImages.com)

Charlie Sheen went off during a radio interview today, ranting about everything from “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre to Alcoholics Anonymous in an epic diatribe.


During his rambling screed on “The Alex Jones Show,” Sheen blasted Lorre as a “charlatan” and “turd” whose “tin can” material Sheen “effortlessly and magically convert[s]… into pure gold.”


“I am so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second,” bragged Sheen at one point, expressing frustration having to deal with “fools and trolls.”


Sheen also scorns Alcoholics Anonymous, which he calls “the work of sissies” and a “bootleg cult” with a five percent success rate.


“My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math!” continues Sheen, who says he cured himself with his own mind.


Sheen rejects what he labels the AA motto of “don’t be special, be one of us,” telling Jones, “News flash: I am special, and I will never be one of you… I’m going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.”


“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning,” he says, at another point declaring, “I got magic… I got poetry at my fingertips.”


In one of several seemingly incomprehensible exchanges with radio interviewer Jones, Sheen refers to the two of them as “Vatican assassin warlocks.”


At another point in the conversation he rejects a comparison to one of the Founding Fathers by saying, “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p-ssy.”


Wow.


But that wasn’t all for Sheen today.


This afternoon, he called TMZ and challenged “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre to a fight in an octagon.


“If he wins, then he can leave my show,” said Sheen.


He later went on to say that he “violently hate[s]” Lorre, whom he further calls “a stupid, stupid little man” and a “p-ssy punk that I’d never want to be like.”


“That piece of s–t took money out of my pocket, my family’s pocket, and, most importantly, my second family – my crew’s pocket,” added Sheen.


“You can tell him one thing. I own him.”


Whoa.

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Do To Others As You Would Have Them Do To You: Vatican advisor not surprised by British elder care horror stories

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Vatican advisor not surprised by British elder care horror stories
By Alan Holdren






Rome, Italy, Feb 24, 2011 / 07:26 pm (CNA/EWTN News).- Stories of elder care nightmares in England and Wales are the result of a new generation of “scared people” that see the elderly, sick and handicapped as “cumbersome” and “useless,” according a Vatican consultant.

British authorities earlier this month reported that there are grave deficiencies in the country’s national health care system.

According to an analysis of death certificates of elder care home residents by the Office of National Statistics, 667 hospital patients died of dehydration between 2005 and 2009 in England and Wales.

The study also reported an increase in negligence-caused deaths due to malnutrition, blood poisoning and infection from bed sores over the past decade in the national health system.

The reports have prompted cries for reform in Britain and even caught the attention of the Vatican newspaper.

Dr. Carlo Bellieni, a regular commentator on bio-ethics and health care issues, wrote on Feb. 19 that the lack of care is indeed “scandalous ... but not unexpected.”

He point out other reports to the English Parliament in recent years on the poor treatment available to mental patients, whom he characterized as “invisible” to national health system.

“In short, whomever is quietest receives a proportionately inferior treatment,” Bellieni said.

Neil Duncan-Jordan of the National Pensioners Convention told Britain's Daily Mail it is “absolutely shocking” that these causes are leading to so many deaths.

“What it shows is that a significant number of older people in our care homes are getting substandard, third-rate attention.”

He said he was struck by the fact that they died of poor diet, thirst or because they were not tended to well enough in bed and yet were likely paying the equivalent of around $1,300 (800 British pounds) per week.

“For them to be treated in that way is nothing sort of scandalous,” he said.

A separate report from the Health Service Ombudsman of the National Health Service released earlier in 2011 exposed 10 unfortunate stories of elderly patients who were neglected in hospitals. Some were kept for weeks or months with limited access to food, water and bathing.

In one case, a man's life support was unplugged before his sons were informed.

Of thousands of complaints at national health hospitals, a staggering majority of those investigated involved elderly patients.

Bellieni pointed out a study published in the “Journal of the American Medical Association” in 2000 further emphasized the point. Results of a survey showed that in a number of western nations, “the majority of doctors think that life with neurological disability, but also with a serious physical handicap is worse than death.”

This perspective, he said, is a “sign of a cultural wound, a profound moral discomfort that shows the disability not as something to overcome, but something intolerable, towards which one feels aversion, not compassion.”

Solutions are being sought for how to help them die and not for how to help them live better, he said.

“The issue of death with dignity is not how to rush it, but how to conquer pain and solitude,” said the doctor. “But a climate of terror towards a potential and improbable persistence of keeping (people) alive has been scientifically created.”

In the world today, “a generation of scared people” is being created that “only knows how to seek ways to defend themselves, to run for shelter, flee, looking at death as the last desperate consolation, because life has ultimately lost (its) meaning and attraction.”

This perspective leads people to seek “exit strategies” for lives that have become “cumbersome” to them, he explained.

Bellieni asserted that the “abandonment of the elderly ... is not a problem of malpractice but of cultural discomfort in the face of the sick ... as long as they are living.”

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The True Size of Vatican City

Full size image: http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/6576/vatican.png

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The True Size of Vatican City

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The True Size of Vatican City

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The True Size of Vatican City


Someone recently put together an interesting infographic
bringing attention to the (perhaps) unexpected relative size of Africa in comparison to a group of countries.


Click for full-sized image


I’ve always been interested in the extremes of scale, so I put together a similar graphic for the world’s
smallest sovereign state, Vatican City, a country of less than a square kilometer in area.

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Holy See Combats Radical Agenda During Commission on Social Development

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Holy See Combats Radical Agenda During Commission on Social Development

By Samantha Singson   Lauren Funk

NEW YORK, February 24 (C-FAM) The Holy See delegation to the United Nations this week condemned the “attempt at wholesale social engineering” imposed on Africa by UN population control policies. In a series of powerful statements the Vatican delegation also called for the defense and safeguarding of the family. 

The UN Commission on Social Development (CSD) does not normally attract much attention as the more controversial topics are covered by other commissions.   However, in light of the upcoming UN Conference on Youth, observers paid closer attention to this year’s commission and its resolutions on youth, the family, and development.

The Holy See first expressed its strong reservations on references to the World Program of Action on Youth (WPAY) in the resolution on youth programs, and spoke out against the “attempted imposition of agendas” during the resolution’s negotiations.
 
When the UN General Assembly first passed WPAY in 1995, a number of delegations including Malta, Argentina, and Lebanon took exception to the language on youth “reproductive health services” and the document’s disregard for parental primacy in educating children.  However, during last week’s negotiations on the youth resolution, the Holy See’s attempts to have those previous reservations reflected within the text failed.  

It its statement to the General Assembly, the Holy See chastised the attempted imposition of "agendas" that “[do] not advance the well being of peoples.”  The Holy See called for an “approach which respects the timeless values rooted in human nature, values which are essential for authentic social development.”  

The Holy See strongly objected to the inclusion of an African document called the Maputo Protocol that calls for a right to abortion.  The Holy See delegate challenged the “false assumption that African countries are overpopulated, and that wealthy nations must work to reduce their numbers” as an “attempt at wholesale social engineering imposed on Africa” in violation of their human rights, most especially their right to life.  

The Holy See also said “the traditional culture of respecting life which is characteristic of the region of Africa is something from which all countries can learn. The more we affirm respect for the right to life—throughout the life cycle—the more we will truly advance social development around the world.”

The Holy See spoke again on a commission resolution on the family, which did not mention mothers or fathers.  The Holy See delegate said, “the institution of the family, which is a sine qua non for preparing the future generation, is being challenged by many factors in the modern world and the family needs to be defended and safeguarded.”  

Many delegations have commented on what they see as a new tenor and tone of the Holy See delegation. Delegations are also talking about how much more active the Holy See delegates have been in actual negotiations. Some delegations have greeted this outspokenness with chagrin and even hostility. 

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Quasimoto: Bell-ringing priest cleared of charges

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Bell-ringing priest cleared of charges

SABBIONARA, Italy, Feb. 24 (UPI) -- An Italian court ruled a priest who garnered complaints from neighbors with frequent early morning bell-ringing was practicing religious freedom.

Don Ernesto Villa, who was accused by neighbors of ringing the bells at his church in Sabbionara every 15 minutes beginning at 7 a.m., was cleared of a disturbing-the-peace charge Wednesday, ANSA reported Thursday.

The court said Villa was exercising his religious freedom and the bell-ringing is protected by the Concordat of 1929 agreement between Italy and the Vatican.

Lawyers for Sabbionara residents had argued the bell-ringing was not a necessary component of religious practice.

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Canon Lawyer: Cuomo May Not Receive Communion

Written by R. Cort Kirkwood



New York Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo, a Roman Catholic, should not have presented himself for Holy Communion at his inaugural Mass, a canon lawyer and consultant to the Vatican says. And the Catholic prelate who celebrated the Mass should not have have permitted him to receive the sacrament.



Edward Peters, who runs a titled "In the Light of the Law," offered his opinion on Cuomo's disregard of Catholic teaching at his blog and in an interview with CNSNews.com. Cuomo, who is divorced from Kerry Kennedy, is ineligible for Holy Communion, Peter argues, because he cohabitates with his girlfriend, Sandra Lee, a hostess on the Food Network. Peter also cited Cuomo's public positions and policy initiatives on homosexual "marriage" and abortion. He heartily supports both.



Since then, Peters' remarks have gone viral on the Web.



The matter is not frivolous to Catholics. They believe Jesus Christ himself is wholly present in the sacrament of communion and that politicians who peddle ideologies and policies that trespass the moral law must not be permitted to partake. As well, it is a priest's duty to refuse the sacrament to public sinners.



Cuomo Goes To Mass



Cuomo attended Holy Mass at Albany's Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception on Jan. 2, his second day in office.



Albany Bishop Howard Hubbard warmly praised Cuomo during the service. "We know they, over the next four years, will be deeply immersed in the work of evangelization by bringing about the transformation of our state and our society," Hubbard sermonized, citing the work of Martin Luther King and presidents Franklin Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower as transformative for Americans. "Ultimate victory over forces that are seemingly insurmountable is really possible," Hubbard said.



The New York Daily News described Cuomo's reception of Holy Communion:

The divorced son of former Gov. Mario Cuomo, who was once chastised by Catholic leaders for his support of abortion rights, calmly received Holy Communion. Lee walked in line for Communion with him.





Peters Blogs It



Peters commented at his blog on Jan. 4. After explaining the evolution of canon law on the matter, Peters wrote that Cuomo should not have received communion and the bishop should not have allowed him to do so, apropos of canons 915 and 916.



They say:



Those who have been excommunicated or interdicted after the imposition or declaration of the penalty and others obstinately persevering in manifest grave sin are not to be admitted to holy communion.



A person who is conscious of grave sin is not to celebrate Mass or receive the body of the Lord without previous sacramental confession unless there is a grave reason and there is no opportunity to confess; in this case the person is to remember the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition which includes the resolution of confessing as soon as possible.



Wrote Peters:

Cuomo, on the grounds of his public concubinage alone (and setting aside complications arising from his strong support for legalized abortion, etc.), should not approach Communion per Canon 916; if he does approach, he should be refused the sacrament per Canon 915. Cuomo should still attend Mass, of course (c. 1247), and within one year of his last Confession he should duly receive that sacrament again (c. 989), but he should not be taking Communion while he lives in public concubinage. And if Lee is Catholic, the exact same analysis would apply to her.



It is Albany Bp. Howard Hubbard’s responsibility to see to it that the common discipline of the Church is promoted and that all ecclesiastical laws are observed, exercising particular vigilance against abuse of the sacraments and the worship of God. Unfortunately, Hubbard’s rah-rah inaugurational homily before Cuomo and Lee, in which, without admonition for their objectively and publicly sinful status, the prelate seemed to have anointed the pair as his kind of evangelizers in government, and his complicity in the administration of Communion to Cuomo, amounts, in my opinion, to another dereliction of pastoral duty.





Peter also noted that because "both Cuomo and Lee are divorced renders the concubinage adulterous on both sides as well."



Early this week, CNSnews.com contacted Peters, who reiterated his remarks. "In receiving communion at a Mass offered by the Roman Catholic bishop of Albany, NY, … Cuomo, who supports abortion, gay marriage, and lives with his girlfriend, committed an 'objectively sacrilegious' act that 'produces grave scandal.'" CNSNews.com reported, citing Peters.



"If he approaches for Holy Communion, he should be denied the august sacrament in accord with Canon 915," Peters told the website.



Peters reiterates what former St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke, now Prefect of the Supreme Tribunal of the Apostolic Signatura, has repeatedly stated vis-à-vis prominent Catholic politicians such as Cuomo. In his remarks to the World Prayer Congress For Life in Rome in last year, he explained Church teaching:

We find self-professed Catholics, for example, who sustain and support the right of a woman to procure the death of the infant in her womb, or the right of two persons of the same sex to the recognition which the State gives to a man and a woman who have entered into marriage. It is not possible to be a practicing Catholic and to conduct oneself publicly in this manner. …



To ignore the fact that Catholics in public life, for example, who persistently violate the moral law regarding the inviolability of innocent human life or the integrity of the marital union, lead many into confusion or even error regarding the most fundamental teachings of the moral law, in fact, contributes to the confusion and error, redounding to the gravest harm to our brothers and sisters, and, therefore, to the whole nation. The perennial discipline of the Church, for that reason among other reasons, has prohibited the giving of Holy Communion and the granting of a Church funeral to those who persist, after admonition, in the grave violation of the moral law.





Burke has tangled with pro-abortion polticians for years. In 2004, he flatly stated that he would not give Holy Communion to Sen. John Kerry because of his publicly professed support for murdering the unborn. "“I would have to admonish him not to present himself for Communion,” he said of Kerry. He said the same of then Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius, now Secretary of Health and Human Services for Presidnet Obama: "No Catholic who publicly and obstinately remains in serious sin can receive Holy Communion. … Whether Governor Sebelius is in the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas, or in any other diocese, she should not present herself for Holy Communion because, after pastoral admonition, she obstinately persists in serious sin."



Hubbard, Cuomo Reply

Bishop Hubbard's office replied to Peters by saying he was not a position to judge whether Cuomo should receive Holy Communion:

There are norms of the church governing the sacraments which Catholics are expected to observe.



However, it is unfair and imprudent to make a pastoral judgment about a particular situation without knowing all the facts.



As a matter of pastoral practice we would not comment publicly on anything which should be addressed privately, regardless if the person is a public figure or a private citizen.





Peters responded that he is not making "pastoral judgments," but rather answering questions about canon law and Cuomo's public concubinage and repeated and consistent statements on abortion and homosexuals.

I responded to reasonable questions that I received about public behavior, as known from public sources, about which public canon law, which is my area of expertise. ...



Canon 915, if it means anything at all (and it most certainly means something), is about public consequences for a Catholic whose public behavior is seriously odds with important Catholic Church teaching. I can, and certainly should when asked, tell people what canon law says about such matters. I cannot, however, enforce the law. That responsibility rests elsewhere.





For his part, Cuomo takes it all lightheartedly. Religion, he says, is a private matter.

Photo: New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo in front of the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, in Albany, N.Y., after attending Sunday Mass with with his girlfriend, Sandra Lee: AP Images





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'We are High Priests, Vatican Assassin Warlocks': 14 Bizarre Things Charlie Sheen Said Today

Meghan Carlson


Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV




'We are High Priests, Vatican Assassin Warlocks': 14 Bizarre Things Charlie Sheen Said Today






I'm not usually one for celebrity gossip, at least in the traditional sense--I don't particularly care who's dating or dumping each other, who got a haircut (ahem) or who said what behind whose insanely rich back. What I DO enjoy are when celebrities go bonkers. Like, totally off-the-wall lose their minds, preferably in a recorded context. Like voice mail. Or the radio!



The hottest craze in celebrity meltdowns these days is the public rant. Christian Bale and Mel Gibson did it, and today it's Charlie Sheen's turn. But if you don't have the energy or tolerance to listen to the full audio of his rant on Alex Jones' radio show today (here at TMZ), don't worry: I pulled the 14 best (worst? definitely weirdest!) quotes for you. This man is a maniac, whether he's serious about this stuff or not. I understand slamming Chuck Lorre ... but Thomas Jefferson?! Now you've gone too far, sir.



UPDATE: And what happened as a result of Crazy Pants' antics? According to TMZ, Two and a Half Men got shut down for the rest of the season! CBS and Warner Bros. released this statement: "Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season." Check out Charlie Sheen's response.



On the porn stars he lives with now: "What we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I'll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers."



On people ("fools and trolls") who talk about him: "Look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee ... they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.' Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show."



On Chuck Lorre's Sheen-lampooning Two and a Half Men vanity card: "I didn't care for that vanity card ... that was one of the few compliments that clown has paid me in almost a decade."



On Chuck ("Chaim") Lorre himself: "I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process. Last I checked, Chaim, I spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he's above the law."



On his own magical powers: "I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time--and this includes naps --I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."



On his new tattoo, described as "gnarlyisms" and depicting the banner from Apocalypse Now and the falling apple from The Giving Tree: "There's my life. Deal with it. Oh, wait, can't process it? LOSERS! Winning! Buh-bye."



On Major League 3: "Whatever ... If they want me in it, it's a smash. If they don't, it's a turd that opens on a tugboat."



More mixed metaphors for his immense strength and power: "There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."



On how he's a High Priest Vatican Assassin Warlock (YUP!): "Guys, it's right there in the thing, duh! We work for the Pope, we murder people. We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes."



His term for people he likes: "Gnarly gnarlingtons."



I'm sorry, what? "If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's nothing that can be questioned. People say, 'Oh, you'd better work through your resentments.' Yeah, no. I'm gonna hang on to them, and they're gonna fuel my attack. And they're going to fuel the battle cry of my deadly and dangerous and secret and silent soldiers. Because they're all around you. Sorry, you thought you were just messing with one dude. Winning."



On what he's actually addicted to: "The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning."



On Alcoholics Anonymous versus his magical brian: "This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math ... another one of their mottoes is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I'm done."



On one of our founding fathers: "I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p***y. But I dare anyone to debate me on things."



I do not want Charlie to murder me, so let me just say right here: I am a conscientious objector to his so-called "Info War." I dare not debate him on "things." I'm just here to document, and all I want to know is: Where are you, Emilio Estevez? Help your brother and his magical assassin brain! Or at least, help me. I'm scared, and I could use a good Mighty Ducks quack-round right now.



(Image courtesy of CBS)






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Smitties Soft Pretzels And Rolls

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Smitties Soft Pretzels And Rolls

smittiessoftpretzelonline.webstarts.com
JOAN SMITTIES CHEESY CRAB PRETZEL APPETIZER







6 smitties soft pretzels, ( Topping---) 1 lb crab meat, old bay or philips crab seasoning-- 1 tab-or more if you like it spicy, 1 beaten egg, 1 piece of white bread torn up, 1 tab of worcestershire sauce, 2 tab real mayo, 1 tab parsley flakes--- mix up crab topping, top on top of the pretzels, top with shredded cheddar cheese and place on baking pan- bake in preheated 400 degree oven 15 to 25 minutes, or until tops are bubbly and a little brown- serve warm. recipe creator: joan bosserman dover pa







SMITTIES PIZZA PRETZEL







smitties pretzel rolls cut roll in half



your favorite pizza sauce



mozzerella cheese



toppings if you like







put pizza sauce on top and bottom pretzel roll, cover with cheese, add toppings if desired/ bake 350 degrees for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted, serve warm. recipe creator: joan bosserman dover pa







SMITTIES SOFT PRETZEL STUFFING (smitties turkey stuffing)







6 Smitties gourmet sourdough soft pretzels or smitties pretzel rolls torn in small pieces



soft bread cut up in cubes, 2 cups



1 cup chopped onion



1 cups chopped celery



1/2 cup butter



2 eggs beaten



1 cup milk or broth or both



Pepper to taste



¼ cup fresh or dried parsley /chop if fresh



no salt needed if using soft pretzels







Saute onion & celery in butter until soft. Mix in pretzels & bread and remaining ingredients.



either stuff turkey or....



bake in casserole dish at 350 for ½ hr. or until it smells good. recipe creator: joan bosserman, dover pa
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